Wilford Back (Remix)

For the past couple of months a few friends and I have taken to saying we normally couldn’t in the guise of Wilford Brimley, which means we get away with it. So, you ask, what do I need to do to harness this awesome power?

It’s simple. Step one: Get outrageously drunk. Step two: put your hand (preferably your right) on your lip and let your fingers dangle like a walrus style mustache. Step 3: Say whatever you want in a Wilford Brimley-like voice. Step 4: Move your fingers while speaking for affect.

We’ve been doing this for a while now and the other day at lunch I got an idea for a song about Wilford. So here it is.

Set to the tune of Sexy Back.

Wilford Back (remix)

Verse 1
I’m bringing Wilford back (yeah)
Quaker oats don’t know how to act
Them oats are so special in their sack
Eat them up to get your health right back
Take ‘em to the bridge

Bridge
Diabetes
You see these needles
Baby, right in my thighs
See these wrinkles if you misbehave
It’s just that sugar makes me feel this way

Chorus
Come here girl
Go ahead, leave that Twinkie
Come to the back
I can’t eat cause I might die

Verse
I’m bring Wilford back
Diabetes kicks my ass
Can’t make up for what the sugar lacks
‘Cause when I eat it, need insulin fast
Take ‘em to the bridge