Cricket is easy

Last night I played 24 games of cricket. I lost none of them, which can only mean I am the dart king of northern Illinois.

The machine at the pub was new and shiny. The people there played more versions of cricket than I’d ever heard about. Fortunately, each one was easy to pick up. Cut throat cricket, quick cricket, double only cricket, low ball cricket – I won each game. Not only did I close numbers, I won with points too.

I paid for one drink and one round of darts all night.

By the end of the night people were surrounding me and admiring my dart throwing prowess.

Occasionally, I’d hand out pieces of dart wisdom: If the plastic point is bent, don’t worry about making the dart stick, I’d say. Or: Working around the dartboard is a lot like a lot like tying your shoe laces.

I don’t what that means, but I seem to remember the other dart players taking copious notes.

A more sober friend sent me a brief transcript of my exploits and more quotable moments this morning.

Earlier this week, I played on a miserable board at a different bar and still didn’t lose.

Maybe the competition is a little better in other bars or in other parts of the country, but that doesn’t worry me. I still win more than I lose.

To all dart players: You’re on notice. Fear the finesse of my flawless delivery and pinpoint accuracy.

Yes, I’ll play you for beers.

You’ve been warned.

Next week, I’m going to take up shuffle puck and competitive macrame. Watch out!